. 

Disclaimer:  This version of immortality was created by Greg Widen, and filmed/produced by Rysher: Davis/Panzer.  No money made, no infringement intended.  Beta courtesy of kai and tarsh; any mistakes mine.
Unrated:  Companion to Unspoken Laws , and they can be read in either order.



Double-edged

 

And when they
                              told you, so bluntly, that you had to learn to kill

                             gave you the blade,

And showed you the correct way to grip the hilt

                              not knowing that you knew, already, abstractly, why
                              the leather was cross-wrapped

                                                                                                       and reminded you
To thread your hand through the lanyard rather than leave it dangling

                              as your life is dangling, and your past already swinging,
                              creaking, spinning in the winds
                              of history and fate like the corpse you almost wish--

Where it could be grabbed or snagged, leaving you
Disarmed--

                              disinherited?  disowned?  when they're all gone, when there's no one left,
                              is there any word for it other than adrift?

And when they finally, firmly, tell you,
“You have got to learn this,”
Then you know

                              oh, god.  it's not just me, is it?  all the grief

                                                   that they need you, too.
They have lost/grieved/died with their families, too.
And your loss might, just might, tip their hard-won balance 

                                                                                                              into night.

                              So you live,
                                           Just for this day,
                                           Just for this extra, stinking, blessed, god damned
                                                                                                                                      DAY.
                                          Wondering,
                                                                  when the pain stops.
                                          Wondering,
                                                                 if the joy returns.
                                          Wondering
                                                                if it's a life... or a life sentence.

And until you know,
There's always the

                                        comforting, now,

                                                                          weight and heft
                                                                                                              and balance

                                                                                                                                       of your sword.
 

Double-edged.

Of course.

 

The companion piece to this is Unspoken Laws.  Feedback happily taken either by email or in my LiveJournal.



Guingate longsword picture from Museum Replicas

Blood has been drawn from  hands since 7/30/01.
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